davids-tumblr asked: It’s Father’s Day and you’re about to pick up your dad and treat him to dinner. You're about to leave your house when suddenly your father runs into your living room. He's completely naked. He looks at you with a big grin on his face and yells, “you can’t judge me because it’s Father’s Day! Let's go out to dinner!” What do you do?
bohobum-deactivated20110308-dea asked: WHAT DOES SARAH SILVERMAN SMELL LIKE?!
bohobum-deactivated20110308-dea asked: who was the first comic you fell in love with? who is your all time favorite?
bohobum-deactivated20110308-dea asked: i keep putting off answering your question cause i want to write paragraphs about every movie i think of, then i think 'damn bitch save that tl;dr shit for another time.' you know? ANYWAY I have a question for YOU...
davids-tumblr asked: If your life was made into an M. Night Shyamalan movie, what would the twist be? And what roll would Shyamalan play?
I AM COMIC
Last night after work I was browsing through the channels on the tv downstairs to find something to watch and saw this documentary about stand-up comedy on Showtime. It was already more than half way done so I went to the OnDemand channel and started from the beginning. The main thing you get out of this documentary is inside information on the stand-up comedy world. It talks about the history,...
L.A. I'm coming for you
My plans for summer have been changing nonstop. First I was going to get a second job and save some money, then I was going to keep my current job and take a class but then I said fuck that noise and I should follow my dreams of doing stand-up. I have been working on my jokes and have done my research. Even though I live about an hour away from L.A. I will be checking out the open mics over there....
Anonymous asked: how old are you?
Guys don't smoke weed
at home, do it at school.
Rob Delaney: On Depression & Getting Help →
The passing of Andrew Koenig prompted me to write this, but it’s something that will apply to plenty of people. I have dealt with suicidal, unipolar depression and I take medication daily to treat it. On two separate occasions over the past seven years, I’ve had two episodes that were severe…
I have a plan.
When I go to my birthday lunch I am going to make sure that my sister and parents tell them it is my birthday so I could get dessert and a song. But instead of it being awkward and having strangers in uniform sing to me I have a plan. As soon as they put the plate of dessert with a lit candle on top in front of me I’m just going to blow out the candle. Before they reach...
My iPod playlists are all named after STDs
HERPES: My favorite songs of all time. The best gems from my ipod. CHLAMYDIA: Love songs and sad songs, which I think are one in the same. GONORRHEA: My favorite Blood Brothers songs. SYPHYLIS: My favorite Blink-182 songs. AIDS: My favorite songs of the moment right now that I just can’t get enough of. Repeating offenders include: The Strokes, Bright Eyes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Rilo Kiley.
Look what you did you little jerk!– Instead of writing some really tough graffiti on bathroom stalls I’m just going to write quotes from HOME ALONE.