I like this cast.
Max: I like your nurses uniform guy.
Dr. Peter Flynn: These are O.R. scrubs.
Max: O R They?
Len's Crafters is RACIST.
Back in June I decided after five months of saying “Fuck it” and dropping my pen on my notebook in Biology when I couldn’t read the notes on the board and asking the girl next to me every time we had a quiz in math what the last two problems were I decided to get my eyes checked to see if I needed glasses. (For other reasons I didn’t have problems seeing the board in...
As you know, I’m a first class director. I hate shitting and having the...– -James Gunn
In terms of what I would do for a Klondike bar, I guess it depends on my mood...– -Michael Ian Black
I am glad my name is not Jeff Dunham.– -Rob Huebel
Does anyone know where I can find any Michael Jackson articles?– -Natasha Leggero
Black people…Right?– -Sarah Silverman
When you look like I do it’s hard to get a table for one at Chuck-e-Cheese– -Zach Galifianakis
My Dad Is A Conservative Christian
Dad: So how was the show?
Dad: Was Sarah Silverman funny?
Dad: Sooo what are her jokes? What are some funny things she said?
Me: Ummm she sang a song and said funny stuff.
Dad: Like what?
Me: Stuff about Asians, so what did you and mom do last night?
*The song Sarah sang had the word "cunt" in it, numerous times, awkwardness avoided!
I don’t speak Spanish or as it’s more commonly known as “Espanol” I like tacos but not rice. I was born in America. I’m not good at soccer or any sport for that matter. I don’t like cowboys, sombreros, or panchos. I don’t like to work in the yard & I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t know how to start a lawnmower. I like my music & television in...
Happy Birthday Dylan!
You came into this world through a vagina but you will probably leave it fucking a guy in the asshole. *Dylans birthday isn’t until April but I wanted to keep this lovely note archived until the time comes.
All Grown Up
I remember when boners used to make me feel uncomfortable, now they just make me say, “ooooh”.
I took art my junior year in high school as one of my three electives. When we started painting I asked my friend Melissa to paint a mustache on me. I wore it for the rest of the period and for about twenty minutes after school. It was green.
Kyanne said if I got a tumblr I would make it uncool, that’s why I joined. Suck it hipsters!