"The Todd Glass Situation" Now on Pre-Order

thecomedybureau:

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The amazing Todd Glass wrote a memoir entitled The Todd Glass Situation: A Bunch of Lies about My Personal Life and a Bunch of True Stories about My 30-Year Career in Stand-Up Comedy that from just reading the title you get exactly what it will cover and will want to get a copy.

It’s available on pre-order now for a June 3rd release, so start off your day today reserving a copy.

 

YAAASSSSSS

bowel-city:

gf: babe, come over

me: I aint got a car

gf: but my parents aren’t home

me:

image

I’ve struggled a lot with my appearance. I used to have a bunch of pictures on my mirror so I wouldn’t even have to look at myself. I don’t remember the last time I liked the way I looked and I always thought if I did certain things to my appearance I wouldn’t be depressed anymore. I realized that’s not the case because I’ve dealt with my depression and I still look relatively the same and I’m okay with that. So now I’m actually making the effort to look cute 24/7 and this is one of many attempts.

I’ve struggled a lot with my appearance. I used to have a bunch of pictures on my mirror so I wouldn’t even have to look at myself. I don’t remember the last time I liked the way I looked and I always thought if I did certain things to my appearance I wouldn’t be depressed anymore. I realized that’s not the case because I’ve dealt with my depression and I still look relatively the same and I’m okay with that. So now I’m actually making the effort to look cute 24/7 and this is one of many attempts.

Damn that penis is PINK!

I wanna reenact the part where he lifts her up.

how do i get my girlfriend to shave her pussy?
Anonymous

iratheunicorn:

Here’s what you do… Go to your girlfriend’s place and apologize for tricking her into thinking you were an adult who could handle something as simple has pubic hair and then tell her she should leave you because you’re a jackass.

unclefather:

honey boo boo looks like an angry bridge troll

unclefather:

honey boo boo looks like an angry bridge troll

top5funniest:

'Broad City' Does Drake's 'Started From the Bottom'

If someone says they’ve never seen broad city I’m just gonna show them this

seven vaganias

How do you even do this? You cut the avocado in half with a knife and then scrap the insides with a spoon. Someone photoshop a spoon where the knife is.

How do you even do this? You cut the avocado in half with a knife and then scrap the insides with a spoon. Someone photoshop a spoon where the knife is.